Skyrae's Blog

Just let me die in peace(s)
I have given up on excuses.
I look in the mirror everyday,
And no one knows more than me what I have to face.
I don't see a person staring back,
I see flaws, holes, and fat.
I see the subtle looks,
That scream volumes.
I get the 'helpful tips' on how to improve,
But I have too much shit to deal with to put them all to use.
If we are God's playdough,
Then I was the last bits with the dried up crumbs,
Played with a bit, but ultimitely thrown out.
So yea, I do have a lot to work on,
But I don't have the strength,
I don't have the money,
And I don't have the fucking will.
So just let me be,
And be happy with who you see in your magic mirror.

'Tis my birthday once again, another year rolling upon the last like the waves off and endless ocean. Time is endless that is, my fate unfortuantely fated to drown in that sea of forever. But to live for today, to open my sails and proudly ride into my sunset with every ounce of pride I can. To love, ahh, the wind to my sails. I am so lifeless without it. But whatever floats my boat, eh?
Much love, and best wishes of happiness is all I want for you as I blow out these 22 candles.

Star light, star bright,

To the one I fucked that night:

Wish I may, wish I might,

Once again catch your sight.

So sick and tired of your bullshit. We are all but God's toys and I'll be damned if I let you play with me too.

Ineterstingly uneventful. So mundane it borderlines 'normal'. Could my life possibly be settling. Hah. I often wonder why he didn't just kill us all. Too beautiful a disaster...

Mm, happy thoughts of war and pieces.

Of guns and steel, of metal shard and broken wheels.

What is next?

My dreaming of sunshine, rainbows, and shattered hearts.

My plastered face showing the tv, my modern day reality.

What to take in this good time of world wide peace and human crime?

Give me a hug while I take this knife,

And dig it deep into your spine.

Let me take another pull,

To even out the skull and bones

My Muse is at play in these summer days.

It seems like forever without a storm, inside the words brew, but the slow-drip prose is inhcoesive and mundane. Not that the emotion doesn't stir inside like the twisting of the river eddies.

My dearest friends: I have not fogotten! I still have no computer, but I do miss the buzz. I miss my writings, never as often or as inspirational as the metalic click of the keys. Update: I met a guy, kissed a guy, and broke up with a guy. Times two months. And I cut my hair. I now have a bright pink mohawk. Pics probably coming no time soon. Miss you all, and please write and I will attempt to reply a little sooner. Life comes and goes and the scene varies little. Hope to talk to you soon,

sincerely, Sky

I find I write so much better on the computer, I don't know why. I miss having one. *sigh* Oh well, all my house work gets done very often now. And I seem to be redesocvering these things called books. Hehe.
Things are going great with the new place, I just want the rest of my stuff in it. Righ now I have about an eighth of my belongings here. I miss my bed :( But hopefully I can con some truck-laden gentleman into helping me move this weekend. Miss talking to you all. Wish I could be on more.
Keep it on the upside, and never look back incase you stumble while trying to move forward.

Lots of love and wishes of happiness,
                                                        The ghost of me

I wish I was born into a family that arranged marraiges. It'd be so much easier. *sigh* Because I make the worst choices possible. But I honestly can't stand to be in a relationship where I am treated good. I don't know why. I  get bored I guess, or maybe I feel like I should be treated like crap. Something like that. I went and saw a physcologist, and he blamed all my problems on my bf. I no longer see him. How is it my ex's fault that I stay with him? The problem might be a little deeper there, Mr. Genius.
Yea, so I don't give up on men, I give up on me. Haha.

"I was wrong, about us, about everything. I was wrong, without us there's nothing. You have gone, and I doubt you'll be coming back. I'm alone, can't keep warm, you're so cold." -By All Means Necessary (I Was Wrong)
How can it be that I am nothing to someone who was my everything?

We were so close, the three of us you never knew about.
Then it was two again, but to you it always was just one.
You have no feeling of compasion, no comprehension of the hurt.
Tomorrow is too late, my heart is shut down, and it's past closing time.

So my computer crashed. I haven't been on in a while. Stupid thing. It's still very broken, so I probably won't be on for a while. I hope to talk to you all soon. Miss ya, love ya, bye.